My Healing Experience with Schizophrenia – A Journey Through Darkness and Light
- Gudrun Silvestre
- Nov 19, 2025
- 4 min read
The Breakdown
My story begins in a place where I never expected it to—within the sacred spaces of shamanic ceremonies. I had surrendered myself to everything: the power of the plants, the ancient knowledge of the shamans. I wanted to heal, to grow, to understand.
But what followed was something my naïve mind could never have imagined. Suddenly it turned dark. It felt as if the ground beneath my feet had opened up and I was falling into an abyss. And I did fall, quite literally. Voices whispered threatening things into my mind, horrifying images flooded me, and my reality shattered. Doctors call something like this schizophrenia. I studied psychology, and I almost had to laugh bitterly when I thought of how an outsider tries to “classify” a hell like that.
For me, it was the total collapse of my old world. The inner torment is indescribable in words.
I felt as if I were trapped in another realm—the underworld. There, demons tortured and challenged me. What did they want? My soul. I said no. And for that refusal, I had to walk through hell. They had separated my soul from my body. I had no foothold left in this reality.
Walking Through Hell
The months after the onset of my “psychosis” felt like a never-ending nightmare. I felt torn between light and darkness, between hope and madness. Sometimes I thought I would never return.
There were days when I barely knew who I was. Endless nights during which I involuntarily embarked on astral journeys, slipped into lucid worlds, and was continuously tormented by voices and visions. I fought—and the more I fought, the deeper I seemed to sink into the vortex.
And yet, a small flame within me never went out. An inner voice whispered:“Don’t give up. Love still exists.”
Plants, Nature, and the Voice of My Soul
Whenever I was close to drowning, it was the plants and nature that anchored me. In the silence of the Peruvian rainforest, in the power of the medicinal plants, in the rituals of the shamans, I found moments of peace.
For me, the plant medicine Ayahuasca was not the cause of my schizophrenia but a companion. She opened doors into my innermost self—sometimes brutally, sometimes lovingly. She showed me what lay hidden within me, and helped me work through it step by step.
I began listening to my own body. I meditated, breathed, fasted, changed my diet. I learned not to suppress fear but to feel it. I realized that my healing could not come from the outside; it had to grow from within.
The Turning Point – Love Instead of Fighting
The true breakthrough came when I understood that my greatest enemy was not the voices, not the illness, but my own resistance. As long as I fought, I remained trapped.
When I chose to let go, everything changed. This too happened during an Ayahuasca ceremony. The plant showed me—now that I was finally ready to stop playing the game—that I could perceive the haunting visions, yet “see through” them. I stopped getting involved. The thoughts that were whispering into me—I allowed them to be there, but I stopped listening. I no longer engaged with the voices in my head.
I stopped fighting—and thereby stopped feeding the haunting phenomena. I simply breathed and felt my body, my anchor in the here and now of this reality. That was my key moment, and it had taken nearly two years to reach it.
It was a long path of healing that brought me new insights and abilities. I learned to surrender completely to love. To forgive myself. To forgive those who had hurt me. To trust that life would carry me—even in the middle of chaos.
And indeed: the more I surrendered, felt my body, and simply breathed, the quieter my mind became. The voices faded. My heart grew lighter. Clarity returned.
My Healing – Step by Step
My healing was not an overnight miracle. It was a process—sometimes full of setbacks, sometimes full of small victories.
Through nature and plants I found a deep connection to myself and to the healing energy of the natural world.
Through meditation and silence I learned to calm my mind and enter an inner space that felt vast, open, and transparent.
Through nutrition and a conscious lifestyle I strengthened my body and cleansed my energy system.
Through inner work—feeling old wounds, letting go, setting healthy boundaries—I healed my soul and my sense of self-worth.
Through love and forgiveness I found the peace no medicine in the world could have given me.
Yoga, breathing, feeling my body, and practical work helped me return fully into my body, which remains my anchor in this reality.
My own project as a bodywork therapist lifted me up, gave me new energy, and allowed me to channel my strength into a constructive direction.
Step by step, I returned to life—not as the person I once was, but as someone newly born.
Today – My Work With Others
Today I can say with complete clarity: I have healed my schizophrenia. It is no longer part of my life. What once felt like my downfall was, in truth, my initiation.
I know everyone walks their own path. I make no promises, but I know that healing is possible—yes, even with schizophrenia, even with psychosis.
That is why I now accompany people who go through similar experiences. I know the hell, and I know the way out. And it is exactly this knowledge, this experience, and this love that I pass on.
Conclusion – From Hell Into the Light
Schizophrenia led me into the deepest darkness. But it also allowed me to recognize the brightest light.
My path was not easy—but it showed me that behind every abyss, a treasure awaits. For me, that treasure was love, surrender, and trust in life itself.
I am living proof: healing is possible.
You can find my detailed healing story as an ebook here:
And as an audiobook here:
More information about my work:
With all my love on your path,
Gudrun Silvestre
healing schizophrenia experience
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